Still There ( 2/19/17)
I had imagined the porch would seem smaller,
But it still felt exactly right.
No matter that other people had inhabited this space for the past sixty years,
It was still mine.
It was still the stage for our talent shows, the place we jumped off with capes on, the setting of my one and only birthday party (orchestrated by me)….
“I still remember you, fieldstones….each and every one of you!”
The long, circular driveway hadn’t changed, nor the tall linden trees.
I wanted to slide down the cellar door….just one more time!
I remembered exactly where the earth slanted, exactly where the neighbor’s house stood, exactly where I buried our goldfish….it was all still there.
Vivid sensory reminders of a magical childhood….all still there.
Myself before I constructed myself.
Myself fully alive and still there.
*Yesterday’s “field trip” to my childhood home, a field stone house in Wyckoff, NJ. A magical place which I lived in over sixty years ago and which still lives in me.